


Behind Green Eyes

by myLITTLEnekoSHIRO



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M, Optimism, POV First Person, Soul-Searching, Yaoi, pessimism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myLITTLEnekoSHIRO/pseuds/myLITTLEnekoSHIRO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was looking at me with those eyes again, as if he knew what I was thinking. Well, he didn't. No one did. No one COULD. So what made him so special?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind Green Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Done in Ulquiorra's POV 
> 
> Let's see how this couple fairs. Sorry if it seems a bit rushed or unbelievable. I tries to stay as true to the characters as I could.
> 
> Title is a play on the song "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who
> 
> Huzzah for oneshots!*throws confetti*

'Stop that.'

'Stop what?'

'Switching channels. It's bothering me.'

Grimmjow snorted and just kept on switching. I sighed, leaning my head back on the couch. Then, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was busy concentrating on a football game. Slowly, I leaned over and pressed a hot kiss to his neck. He shivered.

'Hey,' I murmured, slowly pushing him down. 'Let's fuck.'

'…Sure.'

**3434**

'Hiiii, Ulqi!'

'Don't call me that.'

'Awww, don't be meeaan!'

I gave Gin the coldest glare I could muster. He didn't even flinch. What parallel universe had he been deported from?

Gin Ichimaru. New kid. And whose sole purpose in life seemed to be annoying the life out of me.

'You don't like Luppi, do you?' Gin mused.

'What makes you say that?' I sighed in irritation.

'Well, the fact that you're trying to burn a hole into his head because he's flirting with Grimmjow.'

Correction. He wasn't annoying. He was _unbearably_ annoying.

'Is Grimmjow your boyfriend?' he suddenly asked, turning on me with an unnerving smile. I stared back.

'No,' I answered simply and quickly left.

'Hey, it's Ulquiorra! Grimm and I were just talking about you,' Luppi tittered as I drew close to their table. He deliberately placed a hand on Grimmjow's bicep while maintaining eye contact with me, smirking. I swear if there was a zombie apocalypse, I'd sacrifice him first.

'Hey, Luppi,' I remarked coldly. 'I think I heard Nnoitra down the corridor just now. Don't you think you should go say hi to your boyfriend?'

Luppi paled and scrambled out of his seat, almost knocking a student over as he stumbled out of the classroom.

'Stop that.'

I turned back to find Grimmjow glaring at me.

'Stop what?' I said blankly.

'Acting like you own me,' he growled. Everyone in the class had gone silent, eyes on us.

'Luppi just wants you to fuck him,' I said languidly. 'If you're too blind to see that then maybe I should just let him.'

Grimmjow turned red. People stared me, mouth agape. I yawned. So?

'What?' he muttered. 'Do _you_ just want me to fuck _you_?'

Oh? Was he trying to embarrass me back? How pathetic.

'Sure,' I exclaimed. 'Sounds pretty good to me.'

I walked out, followed by the murmurs of our classmates. I knew someone in particular was staring at me. I didn't dare look.

**3434**

Grimmjow scowled when he opened the front door.

'What the hell do you want?' he spat, probably still burning up about today. I stepped inside, threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled him down for a searing kiss. When we parted, his eyes were already glazed over with need.

'What do you think?' I murmured softly, closing the door behind me with a foot.

What? Did he expect an apology?

**3434**

'Can I join you?'

'No.'

The silver-haired moron casually leaned against the roof railing. I curled my hands tightly around the bar. What would it take to make him leave me alone?

'So Grimmjow _is_ your boyfriend, isn't he?'

My fingers twitched. Again with that _stupid_ question?

'How many times do I have to tell you,' I said icily. ' _No_ , he _isn't_. So stop asking.'

'Why?'

'Because you're annoying.'

'No, as in, why _isn't_ he your boyfriend?'

'He's not my boyfriend because I say he's not my boyfriend,' I said heatedly. He was _really_ getting under my skin. 'Would you stop talking to me? You give me a headache.'

I was blunt. I've always been blunt. I've made more girls cry than I've cared to count and was never bothered by it. So why should I now?

Because this kid wasn't either. And I didn't know whether that intrigued me or pissed me off.

'Sure,' he remarked leisurely. 'You just looked so lonely I wondered if you were just waiting for some company.'

I didn't trust myself to speak.

'Hey,' he continued, pulling out a Magic Marker. 'If you ever need to talk…' he yanked the cap off with his teeth and then grabbed my arm. Before I could protest, he scribbled down a slew of edgy numbers. 'Call me.'

With a salute, he was off. I stared at the number on my forearm. I scrubbed it off before third period.

I did _not_ look lonely.

**3434**

'Hey,' I murmured. 'Do I look lonely to you?'

Grimmjow grunted as he pounded away inside me.

'Huh?' he slurred, completely lost to the lust that was hellbent on tearing a new hole into me right now.

'Do I look lonely to you?' I repeated. I must be crazy. Why was I expecting a logical answer in the middle of sex?

He frowned, as if _actually_ thinking.

'You always look lonely,' he murmured, now sucking on my earlobe. 'Why would now matter?'

With one final thrust, he came inside me.

**3434**

The phone rang twice before someone picked up.

'Hello?' Gin's voice rang out clearly on the other end.

I stayed silent for a minute before setting the receiver down. I rubbed my face with one hand. God, what was _wrong_ with me?

**3434**

'U-Ulquiorra! Wh-What're you-?'

I tilted my head, watching with some twisted amusement as Grimmjow scrambled to hide his nakedness, and Luppi, under his bed sheets whereas Luppi just yawned and grinned lazily at me.

'You know if you wanted to fuck Luppi you just had to say so, Grimmjow,' I said calmly. Too calmly. Almost like a serial killer. Did I sound like a serial killer? Probably did.

I felt strange. Like I was in a body that wasn't mine, watching everything unfold before me. Or I was in this little bubble watching Grimmjow and Luppi, in bed, in another bubble. I wasn't part of it. I could just see it happening. But I couldn't really do anything about it. No, that's not the right phrase. What was it? Oh, yes.

_I didn't care._

And that scared the hell out of me.

Still a little too calmly, I extracted my Android from my pocket and pointed it at their bewildered faces.

I snapped a picture. Then, I tapped away at my phone for a bit before pocketing it again.

'Nnoitra's going to like that one, don't you think, Luppi?' I remarked, turning on my heel to stroll out of the room. But not before I missed that slut's face turning whiter than an eggshell. 'See you two around. Depending on how fast Nnoitra gets the photo.'

My knees were shaking when I walked out. So were my hands. Something was wrong with me. Something was so, so wrong. I felt empty and full at the same time. I wanted…I just _wanted_.

I groaned in frustration.

'I must be losing my mind,' I muttered, yanking out my phone this time, jabbing in a number and waited for the dial tone. Someone picked up after the third ring. 'You home right now?'

**3434**

'Well, _this_ is a surprise,' Gin chirped as I walked into his house. I've never been here before. If I could sum it up in one word it would be "pigsty". That's one word, right?

'Gin,' croaked a raspy voice from the living room. In stumbled a woman with red-rimmed eyes and scraggy silver hair, much like his. 'Gin…where's the…'

'Fridge,' he answered. Grinning like a lunatic, the woman teetered off, using the walls for support.

'That's my mom,' he said nonchalantly. 'She's trying to get over her cocaine addiction but started up morphine instead. Nice transition, ne?'

We walked past a bedroom and heard a low moan.

'My dad,' he explained as he skipped up the steps. ' _He's_ trying to get over morphine but got hooked to cocaine. Ironic, no?'

'How do they even work?' I asked quietly. God, something was _definitely_ wrong with me. I was actually _concerned_.

'They don't. We live off of unemployment benefits. And I'm on a scholarship.'

We walked into his room, which was probably the only cleanest spot in the house. He pounced onto his bed, leaning back comfortably.

'So,' he mused. 'What's up?'

I stared at him in disbelief. Really, after what we just saw, he could still ask me that?

'…Grimmjow was fucking Luppi.'

He regarded me carefully before replying. 'How do you feel?'

'I don't know.'

'Do you feel hurt?'

'I don't know.'

'Upset?'

'I don't know.'

'Angry?'

'I don't know.'

He tilted his head to one side. 'Do you feel _anything_?'

I swallowed thickly, clenching my hands into fists.

'I feel lonely,' I rasped. 'Just really, _really…lonely_ …'

Silence lapsed between us.

'You wanna know why I kept asking you if Grimmjow was your boyfriend?' he said softly. I just stared at him. He sighed. ''Cause he was in love with you.'

He was?

'How do you know?' I asked hollowly.

'The way he always looked at you. I'm surprised you never noticed.'

I never noticed Grimmjow much to begin with. He was a good fuck buddy, someone I could manipulate and taunt whenever I wanted. Grimmjow was just… _there_.

'Maybe that's why he slept with Luppi,' Gin mused, leaning back. 'You never noticed him. But Luppi did.' He looked at me. 'Are you mad at him?'

I hesitated for a minute.

'I don't think I have the right to be,' I murmured, turning around to slowly sink onto the bed. It was really comfortable. And it smelt like Gin.

'I didn't want Grimmjow to be my boyfriend,' I said aloud, my hands curling into the purple polka dot comforter. 'Because if I did, it would mean I needed him.' I licked my lips. 'And I _don't_. I don't need _anyone_.'

Gin just smiled at me. Like there was nothing wrong with me. I didn't know whether to scream at him or kiss him. My palms were sweaty. Was I really so nervous? Probably. I had never confessed like this before. Bared myself raw to some creep I just met with crackheads for parents.

'Gin,' I found myself saying, like I was somewhere else and just listening to this conversation. 'Of all the people, why me? Why did you notice _me_?'

Gin hummed as he crawled to the edge of the bed to sit next to me. He fiddled with his thumbs while smiling. 'Dunno,' he finally said, looking at me with his eyes open. Clear, sweet, innocent turquoise. How ironic. 'Maybe 'cause I've seen that look before. That desperate look begging someone to break your walls and save you.'

I held back a flinch. _He's lying. That isn't what I want. How can he know? How can HE of all people know what I truly want?_

'How were you so sure?' I asked stiffly. I knew my voice was cracking. I knew this boy was slowly exposing me, making me feel naked under his gaze.

He smiled, tilting his head as he did. 'That's easy. I see it all the time when I look at myself in a mirror.'

It took seventeen seconds for that to sink in. Thirty more for me to lean over and kiss him. Forty-two for both of us to get naked. And two hours for him to fuck me thoroughly and completely. It wasn't like the other times I've had sex with Grimmjow, me lying on my back and him pounding into me until he came. This was slower, gentler and probably more intimate. I didn't feel like I was doing it to fulfill any needs. I felt like more…I _wanted_ to do this. I _wanted_ to feel those hands touching me with tenderness and those lips kissing me with feeling. And most of all, I wanted _Gin_ to do all of that and more.

I never wanted those two hours, one minute and twenty-nine seconds to end.

**3434**

'Go on,' Gin whispered.

'I am,' I replied calmly.

'No, you're not. You're just staring at him.'

'I am mentally preparing myself.'

'My ass. Just go.'

He gave me a light shove towards Grimmjow. I almost knocked over a desk. The sound reached the blue-haired teen and he stopped talked to Ichigo Kurosaki to look behind him. He stared at my face.

'Hi,' I said. He quirked a brow.

'Hi,' he echoed, although uncertainly. Ichigo fidgeted a little before murmuring something in his ear. Now I raised an eyebrow when I saw the smile spreading across Grimmjow's face.

'Kurosaki, huh?' I remarked as the auburn-haired teen left. Grimmjow flushed.

'Yeah,' he mumbled, eyes trained on the ground, hands shoved in his pockets. Then, he suddenly looked up with fierce eyes. 'Look, I'm sorry about-!'

'Save it,' I interrupted. 'I'm not mad. I never was.'

He looked confused.

'I had no right to treat you the way I did,' I continued, just as I had practiced. 'For that, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I hope we can still be-!'

He suddenly pulled me into a hug. My body tensed up. I had _not_ expected that. But…it wasn't a _bad_ outcome. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around him too.

'You know how long it's been since we talked?' he said hoarsely as we parted.

'Approximately five months and two weeks to be precise,' I estimated. He just laughed.

'Glad to see you haven't changed much,' he mused. Then he glanced in Gin's direction. 'Or maybe…changed a lot.' He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. 'Are you guy's…?'

'Yeah. He's my boyfriend.'

He chuckled.

'Blunt as always, aren't you?'

'Would be anything else? And…you and Kurosaki?'

'Oh yeah.' He grinned widely. 'He's just… _wow_. And Luppi was just…'

'Clingy?'

'…really bad at giving blowjobs.'

That actually made me smile.

'What're you so chipper about?' Gin teased when I rejoined him across the classroom.

'I just heard an interesting tidbit,' I remarked nonchalantly, sitting down at my desk. He turned around on his seat and placed his folded arms on my desk.

'What? That we're the cutest couple in Karakura High?' he said impishly.

'Don't flatter yourself.'

'I'm not. I'm flattering you.' He snaked a hand forward and laced our fingers together. 'So, does this mean I'm your boyfriend?'

I gave him a bemused look.

'No,' I answered. He just smiled and kissed our intertwined fingers.


End file.
